Heads Up Boys

Since I've been out more than a few times over the last months, and experienced quite a few different kissing styles, I thought it may be time to put together a primer of sorts on how women like to be kissed:

KISSING MISTAKES

The following is a list of kisses you should avoid:

The Lizard: Your tongue darts in and out of her mouth like a reptile probing for its next victim. (This by FAR is the one that squicks me out the most.)

The Roto Rooter: Your tongue ventures so far down her throat that it actually begins to choke her. (Soft tongue is great, gasping to keep myself alive is not.)

The Swordfish: You operate your tongue much like a swordfish, and use your nose in a blunt and violent manner. (I bruise easily, so I appreciate not being beaten up while making out.)

The Deep Sea Diver: You rarely come up for air. (There's something to be said for intermittent kisses.)

Frozen in Time: You never change the position, posture, or angle of your head. (Kissing is an ACTIVITY, and the activity is not playing freeze tag with your head.)