I love me some Smarties

So, doin the whole "how was your date this weekend?" debriefing with my semi-crush/BFF Marty he threw this little gem out:

marty : in the whole relationship as a theme park model I dont like long lines but I also don't get in a rush to ride the rides once I'm there, on the other hand once I'm on the rides I don't want to get off of them so there you have it

le sigh

Heads Up Boys

Since I've been out more than a few times over the last months, and experienced quite a few different kissing styles, I thought it may be time to put together a primer of sorts on how women like to be kissed:

KISSING MISTAKES

The following is a list of kisses you should avoid:

The Lizard: Your tongue darts in and out of her mouth like a reptile probing for its next victim. (This by FAR is the one that squicks me out the most.)

The Roto Rooter: Your tongue ventures so far down her throat that it actually begins to choke her. (Soft tongue is great, gasping to keep myself alive is not.)

The Swordfish: You operate your tongue much like a swordfish, and use your nose in a blunt and violent manner. (I bruise easily, so I appreciate not being beaten up while making out.)

The Deep Sea Diver: You rarely come up for air. (There's something to be said for intermittent kisses.)

Frozen in Time: You never change the position, posture, or angle of your head. (Kissing is an ACTIVITY, and the activity is not playing freeze tag with your head.)

Miss Keriann's School of Socializing

Someone I correspond with via email made a smart comment to me about "social life? What is this thing you call a social life?" I felt compelled to instruct him:


Oh, a social life is a FANTASTIC thing to have! You go to dinner and sit across from someone you like to look at and you have these things called "conversations" which is basically trading opinions on things like politics and movies etc etc

Sometimes when people have social lives, they stay inside and watch tv, cook dinner, sit really close together on furniture with someone they like to look at and have found from those "conversations" that they like to talk to them too.

Eventually, people who are experienced in stages 1 and 2 of social lives move on to stage 3, which involves inserting tab A of one person into slot B of the person they like to look at and talk to.

I can further educate you on the finer points of social lives, if you like :)

Keri Got Low, Low, Low, Low, Low

Apple bottom jeans, boots with the furrrrrrrrr...

This is the current no 1 hit at Casa Keriann:

Diamonds are a girl's best friend

I was messing around on
glam.com today and took the "What diamond are you?" quiz. I think the results are quite accurate:

You’re romantic, graceful, and sophisticated—just like the popular princess-cut diamond. Characterized by clean, square lines and intense sparkle, your relative rock conveys the kind of elegance and femininity that you possess. Plus, the rock’s clarity is as clear and true as you are with those close to you. At once classic and ladylike, a princess sparkler suits those who just love being a girl.

Matching Accessories

I spent New Years day alone. I stayed in New Years Eve and never even turned the tv on-I had a quiet night of conversation ending in a warm hug and smiles on my face all the way upstairs to my bed. It was the first time I've spent the night completely alone in the new house and I was surprisingly comfortable. Comfortable with the silence, comfortable with the big bed to myself and comfortable with the solitude.

I spent quite a bit of time thinking on the past year-isn't that what the New Years hype is all about? Reflecting on the past and planning for the future. One thing that happened this year is a shift in my thinking about men and relationships. In the past, a man was my total "outfit". Hopefully he fit well without too much altering, the shade was one that enhanced my complexion and he was quality-he could withstand being tossed on the floor when I was done, flung in the washing machine with a bunch of others when I was cleaning house and me squeezing into him when I was in full blown PMS bloating.

Now, with a new career launching, a new home being decorated and new friendships being formed, I've begun looking at a man as a handbag. He should be an accessory - not the outfit. The outfit is the kids, the job, family, friends, home-he is there and is an integral part of what I'm wearing. I need him to add that final touch to make my couture complete. But he's not the whole style-that comes from me.