Ok, so after my last few posts about the crazy dates I've been on, my new crush Mike told me about some of his. I figured that there were some socially retarded women in the world, I just didn't realize HOW backwards they could be. So ladies, read these 1st hand accounts of bad dates and heed the warnings:
Date number 1- Mike, being a good all around guy wanting to be impressive but not over the top on a first date, suggests meeting at Outback Steakhouse. Mid price chain, good fun and great beer, a laid back and fun atmosphere that doesn't scream "I expect a lil sumpin sumpin after I pay the check". The girl counters with KRYSTAL. If you don't have a Krystal where you live, it's a wannabe White Castle. Don't get me wrong, I love me some Krystals and fries, but at 3 in the morning to soak up all the gin I've had to drink all that night. They have a great breakfast but c'mon, they don't even have a playplace for the kids. So, Mike thinks she's crazy but hey, a dinner check of around 9 bucks vs 40 bucks is a no brainer. They meet at Krystal and while ordering, his date ASKS FOR AN APPLICATION. Seriously. She is multi tasking at it's finest, dating and job hunting. After they take their tiny squares of soggy goodness on their plastic trays to a table, ol' girl whips out a pen and fills in the application. She then turns it in and actually agrees to an interview on the spot. The manager comes out, sits down next to Mike and interviews his date, and then offers her a job-he turns to Mike and offers him a job as well. Mike declined since his IT job was enough for him to not have to moonlight wearing a hairnet.
Date number 2- Mike meets this girl at a Chinese place. In her ad, she says she's 135 pounds and attractive. In reality she's twice that and in dire need of dental work. Mike swallows hard, puts his sunglasses on (which he will keep on for the duration of the date, so she doesn't notice him looking everywhere BUT at her) and the go inside. His date was apparently laboring under the misconception that she was a guest on a talk show and began to discuss at length about her experiences with men and how they have hurt her so badly, she doesn't know how she'll ever trust again. She begins to question Mike's intentions about how the evening will end and why he would want to buy her dinner unless he expects her physical affection, because he's just like all the other guys. She excuses herself to go to the ladies room, which gave Mike an excuse to go pay the check for the both of them and then leave. She wore him down, he couldn't handle the misery anymore.
So ladies, if a guy is paying for your dinner and wants to go somewhere halfway nice-let him. If you have unresolved issues with your ex husband, daddy, boss, mother or lawn guy-keep them to yourself. You might actually get asked for date number 2.
